A Christmas Story, Hockey. Engagement

The back story goes a little like this. In August of this year I was feeling very down because I hated my life and my work. The work was taking a lot out of me with the travel. This trip was going to be my last because I was tired of being a contractor who had no control of my schedule and the 100 percent travel was no longer a fun pastime. I could see the dark storm clouds around the Denver airport as we were getting to land and as a frequent traveler I knew that there was a good chance we were going to be sitting. The plane stopped about 100 feet from the jet way. Only 100 or so more feet to go and we could get off the plane. Nope. The captain said we would need to wait until the storm moves (I am sure the storm could have hopped into a plane since it WAS at the airport). I was thinking that if this was a Friday and I was to be picking up Connor then I would have been late and well that would of created a argument with his mom. We sat on the plane for an hour and as I sat there I knew I had to make a drastic change in my life.


I took a lot of grief from so called friends and family members for quitting my job in this messed up economy but I did this to be able to spend more time with Connor. My decision paid off in ways that I could not just write about it, you really had to be there. I will do my best to paint the picture of our time together by describing a weekend that started on Thursday, December 15th. If I still had the job and was traveling I would not be sharing this story with you. Yes it might not be a Christmas full of presents because of lack of finances but our time together there is NO price like the commercial talks about.

Connor’s class had a holiday party that afternoon and for me I wished that more dads could have been there. All I see are moms and one dad in this class. After the party was gym class and I normally volunteer in the gym class because I have a blast with the kids and the P.E teacher is very funny. Well Connor’s class was playing this game called planet ball. The kids take several hoola hoops to make them into a planet and the object is to knock them down with a ball (its dodge ball without hitting the kids) and the first team to knock down the other team’s three planets wins. Well the teacher asked if I wanted to play? Oh heck yes. It was fun trying to hit the hoops. Well then my competitive energy got the best of me because our team was losing. Oh the throw was right on target, great speed on it and it just felt so perfect. It was like watching your favorite baseball pitcher placing a 100 MPH fastball right down the batters throat. I felt so bad that the little third grade GIRL did not see the ball coming. I still feel so bad and not sure if I can ever forgive myself. Anyway here is a lesson for dads out there, stay on the sidelines.

Since Connor had Friday off he came home with me Thursday night since we had a full day planned for Friday. First, Connor and I went to Bass Pro Shop to see Santa. This is starting to be one of my new favorite stores because of my girlfriend Ann who is a camping type person and I have starting to enjoy camping as well. Pro Bass has a wonderful set up for Santa but I do miss when they had both Santa and Miss Clause but I guess even Santa has to downside. Connor and I had a great time walking around checking out tents and other camping stuff. Some of those tents were big enough that I would consider selling my house to move into one of those tents (NOT). After that we went to the nursery. I have never had a Christmas tree in my place because I was never home and yes I am a real tree person. This year Connor said we should get one and I had no more excuses. OK so it is smaller than Clark Griswold’s and maybe even smaller then Charlie Brown’s but it is real and has ornaments on it. I am proud of Connor for picking it out and he took the responsibility to water it this weekend. I have the movie “A Christmas Story” and feeling in the festive spirit I wanted to watch it. However, Connor did not because he said that he looked at the back of the box and it looked “scary”. I tried to tell him that it is not scary and that he might enjoy it. He said no and just hung out in his room. So I put the movie in. A few minutes into the movie he came downstairs to proclaim that he was not there to watch the movie but he did. He sat down on the couch next to me and right away started to laugh at the scene where Ralph’s younger brother Randy is eating his dinner like a little piggy. That had Connor hook line and sinker. I now have a new tradition for us and that is to sit and watch the movie together. I see myself in my dad when it comes to movies. I have been “asked” to sit and watch a movie with my dad (even as an adult) and I will admit that my dad knows how to pick some great movies. Well someday I will tell you the story of a little boy who walked out of a movie theater.

Saturday was a fun filled day that started at 6:00 AM to get us boys up for Connor’s hockey game. He was going to have 3 games in two days and this is a sport that he very much enjoys playing. So a fill up of Sunny D and Pop Tarts, the breakfast of champion hockey players around the world and we were off to the rink. The game went well and I wish there was a score but at this level there is no score keeping. But you can bet that the kids know who won and yes the parents know as well. I just tuned it out because I was assigned the task of running the lines and well that was a lot of pressure. Connor did not want to play goalie and this has been concerning me because all he talked about was being a goalie on the team. I wish at times I could get into his head.

After the game it was off to Greeley to spend time with my girlfriend Ann and her two daughters. The plan was to go ice skating because it was almost a year ago that the kids met for the first time at this very ice rink we were heading to and there was going to be a major surprise as well.

Ann and I had picked out rings before Thanksgiving. I’m a bit old fashion when it comes to romance and I had done my due diligence by contacting Ann’s parents to get permission before popping the question. I also spoke to Ann’s oldest daughter too because I felt that she needed to be part of this proposal. My plan was to ask Ann at the ice rink with a great speech (well in my head it was great) about how it was wonderful that the kids bonded right away last year and if that did not occur we would not of been able to move forward with our relationship. Sounds great doesn’t it? Long story short things did not work out as I had planned. I had called the rink ahead of time to make sure they had a sound system and they did. The wireless mic ended up not working and as I stood there with many eyes on us because we were the only ones on the ice so we could have this family moment. Well I said the heck with it and just got down on my knee and pretty much begged for Ann to marry me. She said yes and the three kids hugged and were very happy.

I am very happy that my life is on a better path then it was three years ago. There have been many changes and still many to come. I am looking at a bit of a career change as I keep growing “Tommy Maloney International”, the wedding next year, and learning how to be a parent to girls to just name a few. 2012 is going to be a wonderful year but I also see new challenges not only in business but in life its self. This is not necessarily anything bad but more of a way to make me stronger. From the bottom of my heart I wish I could thank each and every one of you in person for all of your support to my blog. Next year there WILL be a new website and I know you will enjoy what is planned for it.


Please send any comments, concerns or verbal abuse to me and thank you.

(Tommy Maloney is the author of the book “25 Tips for Divorced Dads: How to create special memories and grow your bonds with your children” He can be contacted 303.263.3118 or thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

I am very sorry that I have not posted anything (OK stop with the emails).  I have backed off because I am a very emotional type person.  What does that mean really?  I have been told from several people that I am to open in what I post and since this is about Connor and I that maybe I need to keep more of our personal life well personal. 

I know that during this time of the drama I am going through with Connor's mom and the child custody that yes I will not put out as much information until it is over.  All I do ask is to PLEASE think happy thoughts that Connor and I get to stay together in THIS state. 

OK on with the show.

Connor is in full swing of hockey season and me as a assistant/goalie coach.  I am not used to hearing kids call me coach, it is very strange.  I just like to be called Tommy and not coach.  If you have not ever experienced youth hockey I will give you some insides to it.  The thing to really point out is the times the kids have either their games or practice and that is well VERY EARLY.  The time can begin as early as 6 AM (yes that is in the morning) and think about the fact how EARLY the kids need to be up as well.  Yes there have been the times and not just Connor but many of the kids who need to complain how EARLY and TIRED they are.  Then again when they are done they have some of the biggest smiles on their faces. 

Connor had asked me to coach last season and I just did not think that for his first year it would be a good idea.  I promised him that I would and I kept to my promise this season.  I call myself the UN-official goalie coach of the team and it works well.  I am learning a lot from not only Connors coaches about skating drills but watching the other coaches interact with the kids.  Connor's group are all under the age of 8 and these coaches have such a strong desire to help each and every one of these kids not just be better skaters but these coaches are teaching the kids how to be better people.  The basics of being on a team and treating each other like you want to be treated.  Connor's team has had two team bonding events.  It is not just about the kids bonding but it is also about the parents too.  I am such a people person and want to know more about the kids parents and how their kids wanted to play hockey.  I am not sure if I will be back coaching next year depending on the personal issues but I do know that I will stay in contact with many of these parents to hear how they kids are doing.

What have Connor and I been up to lately?  Very glad you have asked.  During the Thanksgiving break we took a family road trip to Santa Fe New Mexico.  OK family trip??  I have been dating Ann for over a year now and we had her two daughters as well for the trip.  WOW what a great time we all had during that trip.  The kids all hung out together in the pool and they looked and even acted like brother and sisters.  It was very fun to watch these two girls fight for Connors attention, oh he is going to break hearts as he gets older.  We took a trip to Albuquerque on Thanksgiving day but the only places that were open was a local Starbucks (yes we went in) and a winery (no we did not stop in there).  Even though the town was pretty much closed down we still had a fun time being together.  We left there and headed back to Santa Fe so the kids could go and spend more time in the pool before heading out to dinner.  SO where did we eat?  OK we are a family on a budget but wanted to create a memory or more and I do hope this trips stays in the kids memory banks.  Dinner was NOT at a 5 star but a well cafeteria.  There is a chain of these cafeteria's called Fur's and well the best part was that the kids (and the adults, I mean Ann) were able to pick what they wanted to eat.  Connor had ham and Ann's youngest had fried chicken, how cool is that where you do not need to eat a traditional meal??!!  I LOVED the time we were all together and wish that it had lasted even longer.

I do want to close and say THANK YOU to everyone of you who have taken the time to read this and my other blog (kidsneedtheirdadstoo.blogspot.com).  My new website (yes we have heard this before but I mean it this time) is going to house the blogs but we are looking at sometime in January for that.  Have a great holiday season and I will have some big news coming out very soon so please come back.  You do not know what it truly means to know that you have read this so again Thank you and please let me know how you are doing.

Have a day,

Tommy