When the next dictionary comes out please look up the word stress and you will see my picture there. I can for the most part hide it very well but lately I have become a piece of rock that has weathered and is starting to crumble. It is ironic because in some of my past training jobs I have taught stress management and now the teacher needs to be the student.
I was emotionally drained by this past August due to the travel schedule I had at the time. It was well, stressing me out to the max dude. My weight was an issue as well. I needed to make a drastic change so I left my job. Ok not the smartest move but what’s done is done.
Currently Connor has been playing hockey for almost a month now and as of this coming weekend he has to go through evaluations. What this means is that the kids in his group and another group with spend two hours on the ice going through drills. Once this weekend is over then he is placed on a team. Here is where my stress level is rising. Not only was I first told that Connor could be a goalie, that story has now changed. When you have a passion for something and have those taken away it is going to hurt. Now I need to tell an 8 year old boy that he might play his favorite position but not as much as we were promised. Plus I really want him to have fun this weekend even though he is aware that he is being judged. I am not a fan of politics when it comes to youth sports because it takes away the purity of not only the sports but from the kids as well. I really wanted to coach this year but….
The last piece of my stressful world and please understand I am normally an open book but I need to keep this very limited on the detail information. Connor’s mom wants to move out of state and that is why the stress level in my body is at all time high these days. I keep replaying the court scene from “Mrs. Doubtfire.” I am at a loss these days on why would someone want to remove a child from a loving situation that I have with my son? I pray that none of you parents have to go through this anguish and the world of the unknowing.
When you think that your words are not being read it is like getting a bonus present for your birthday when you do get a response. I received a wonderful email from Sarah who was very kind to reach out and offer me advice about the last posting. I had missed my son’s presentation and was very well, PISSED at myself for failing my son. Sarah wrote my son encouraging words along with what to do in the “now.” One thing she told me to do was to get the movie “Despicable Me” because it pertained to what I had done by missing my son’s presentation. In two weeks when I pick Connor up we will go and get that movie. Thank you Sarah for caring about some stranger here in Denver, Colorado and understanding my pain.
Comments, concerns or verbal abuse send them to me please and thank you.
(Tommy Maloney is the author of the book “25 Tips for Divorced Dads: How to create special memories and grow your bonds with your children” He can be contacted 303.263.3118 or thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com)
This blog is all about chronicle my time with my son Connor. I only have him for 46 hours every other weekend so our time is precious. Being Connors dad is also about not just our father son relationship but also other relationships. I will writer about mine with my dad as well as the relationship I have with my girlfriend Ann and her two daughters 14 year old and 10 year old. I will ask that you please pass this link to your friends, family members and contacts.
I stumbled along your blog when surfing the net, and blogging is something that I have never done before. As a single mother, I definitely have to give you kuddos for stepping up to the plate as a father figure in the kids life. However, this also makes a bond between a child and two adults. I couldn't image the possibility of being away from my daughter for even a week.. the thought is a pure form of hell for me. That alone would be hard enough. But for the fact that Conners mother wants to take him out of state... that would be devastating. My advice would be to speak with his mother, and tell her how you feel about this. You want to be a part of the childs life... but she is single handedly taking away the most precious thing in your life. If this doesn't work... try working out a schedule with her. Perhaps 6 months a year with her and 6 with you? It would be better than not having your son at all. If all else fails, you may want to consult legal advice.
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