Memories

I love my dad (love you dad) but unfortunately there are more bad memories then good ones. What I mean is this; I remember the day my dad left my mom and me, I remember the day of one of my soccer games and he said he was going to be there, and I remember times when my mom and dad had major arguments on the phone. Let’s talk about the positive stuff because that to me is why we are here. I still have a great memory of the day when my dad was a chaperone for a field trip to one of Chicago’s newspapers. I can not tell you the feeling of having YOUR parent with you on a special day like that, and the lasting visuals as well.

Let’s fast forward to the current and my chance to be a positive influence on my son. Tomorrow I will be at Connor’s school to help out during lunch time, and what that means is that while his teacher is having her lunch I will be monitoring the kids. This is the second time THIS week I have done this. I spoke to Connor tonight and told him that I would see him tomorrow and he said “no I won’t” and I explained to him that yes he will and why he will. I was nearly in tears as I listened to him screaming saying ‘YEA” on the phone. My dad was not always there for me in my early days but he did teach me without knowing it, the vital importance of just being there no matter how small of a time frame it is.

I have struggled since being divorced with trying to have the most memorable weekend instead of focusing on quality of the weekend. You see up until March of this year I was on the road nearly the past two years straight due to work. Connor’s time with me was sacrificed by my crazy travel schedule. There were several times that my flights were late on a Friday night and therefore I could not pick him up until the next day. Again he made sacrifices without really realizing it. That is why I need to remind myself the need to spend time in his world to create those what I hope are lasting memories. I will be honest and do not want to hear stories of my ex wife’s boyfriend while driving in the car to where ever we are going because I do not want those to become memories. I am lucky that this man is good to MY son, but I will NEVER let him replace me as Connor’s dad. That is why as a dad we need to be so much a part of our children’s lives one way or another. As fathers it is critical to put work AFTER your child’s needs. Yes it does pay the bills however your time in their life is far more important then sealing a deal.

Next week is the last week of school for Connor, and I am going to be there for his “Field Day” and do you know why? Yes you do but I will tell you anyway. The reason is because I can and the best part is also I want to. Oh and he and I are going on not one but two vacations together this year. I can not tell you that I still remember the vacations my dad took me on and guess what? I hope Connor remembers them as well; if not at least there was fun somehow and someway VS memories of his parents screaming at each other on the phone.