I am still in shock of what transpired today and with that I also had to break my son’s heart. I want to call this a day of highs and lows but right now as I struggle to finish up homework, today was a low day for me. I do not like to see Connor cry when it comes to his feelings on the inside VS when he is tired and in a crabby mood. When he cry’s because he is sad I am sad for him and what he has had to go through because of not just the divorce but in my opinion and observation of the instability in his life.
In the past month I have had to go through several hoops during the interview process of one company. You currently may or may not know I am trying to venture out on my own as an inspirational speaker, talking about my trials and tribulations of divorce. I have been actually doing well booking talks and getting not only the experience of this speech I have created but the chance to hear other’s telling me their story as well. This past week I had another interview and my mind set has been the fact of really not caring because my passion is all about my new business right now in time. Yesterday I was offered the job after all of this and was not very excited about being on the road again. I love spending time with Connor and these days of sleeping in my own bed is a major bonus as well. Well I asked how long I had to think about this offer and was told that my decision had to be made by close of business today Friday July 23, 2010. There were some issues with how this company handled their travel arrangements that I did not feel comfortable with. I consulted with my mom and we both felt that this travel issue would be a deal breaker so I contacted the company early today to inform them of my decision of thank you for the offer but I will pass on the job. I think the Human Resources person was taken off guard because they seemed a bit shock that I was saying no to them.
I made my case and valid points of why I would not be accepting their offer and was waiting for the response of well ok or even to the extreme of having the HR person hang up on me. Listen I have NEVER had the confidence to negotiate or ever be in a position to negotiate but today was different and really I did not think I was really negotiating but just being honest of the travel situation. Well the HR person said that they are going to see what could be done for me. So even after I said no and I said it a lot they still wanted to hire me. I was now told by the HR person that they will look into this and see what can be done to get me on board for this project. I kept thinking that my demands would NEVER be met and I could focus today on getting my group project for school done and this would be the end of me ever hearing back from this company. Oh Boy was I in for a surprise.
I was heading home from a meeting with my marketing guru Chris K to discuss where I am in my bookings of my talks and a status update of things I was working on for him to help me be more marketable. When my cell phone rang I looked at the number and did recognize it and yes it was my new HR best friend. I had a smile on my face as I was getting ready to hear the words come out of their mouth of something like “sorry but we are not going to change our current policy so thank you for your interest and best of luck” or something to that effect, or even heck I would have been happy with go BLANK yourself. I was not expecting the words of “good news we are going to accept your travel requirements, so how does that sound?” HUH????!!!!!! I was in shock and it got to the point where I was speechless, me, a trainer of going on 13 years and now and a speaker, is now SPEECHLESS! I now had to give them an answer but if it worked once I could simply ask again for time to think about it, yes again HR could not understand I needed time. I was allotted 30 minutes to give a final answer. Ok you might be asking why I could not just give a yes or no right then and their. I first had to speak to my mom and get her help and finally if I did say yes I wanted to talk to Connor in person. Why do I need approval from a seven year old? This outcome would impact his life as well and he deserves to hear from me why I made this decision for us. My mom and I both agreed that the money is currently needed for my finances. Plus I again will save for when the day comes the project is over to be able to build upon what I have already began towards the business.
I now knew what my final decision was going to be so therefore I had to first tell Connor that daddy was going to be back on the road for sometime and I could not take him to hockey. I went to the house where he is watched during the day and he was actually getting ready to get in his mom’s car and well this was NOT good timing to deal with her. I asked if I could speak to Connor and took him across the street on the other side of my car so I could give him the news and once I said that daddy was going to be back on the road, he started to cry. I hate doing this but he says he understood but it will become clearer once he gets his new hockey equipment in a week because this new job I will tell him helping pay for it.
I should be happy that this job has been offered to me but could you? This not only is going to be a job that will create a burning desire of NEVER EVER having to go through this again and by that I mean to set my goal of being a well paid speaker and traveling on days I want to travel. I do not want to hurt Connor like this ever again because I can not control my destiny and I hope that made sense. I am going to again ask for your help by helping me achieve my goal so please I would enjoy very much coming to your place of work, group, and even your house so I can keep getting my message to the masses. Please send me an email at thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com. I want to thank you in advance and as Connor would say “do it for the children” it is funnier when he says it.
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